With the awareness that we are a floating sum in a tiny quadrant of the universe we occupy, a mass of consciousness disguised as a population of human terrestrials on a planet of a certain size-each human on the planet with his or her own unique perspective, being in a certain body at a certain place. But each one of us is here now.
Now, the present moment, is an open door to the transcendent divine, which is why so many eastern meditative practices instruct how to stay focused in the now. Mediating to gain the power of focus on the present moment is essential in these traditions, and necessary to master more involved practices such as Tantra. Tantra is a meditative practice designed to facilitate the mind opening to the awareness of enlightenment, the doorway to the Divine. The sexual aspect of Tantra is meant to open the participants to a state of complete unity, and of realizing oneness with another. It is realizing the unity in duality, as a pair of opposites uniting, as the yin and yang form the foundation of the Tao.
As physical beings, in bodies made of physical matter, we interact with other things and people in our physical reality through the perspective of the body. But who we are really is something much greater than the physical body we identify as self. We are consciousness.. and what is that exactly? For as long as the science of the mind and psychology has asked this question they haven't yet found the answer. Interestingly, the same can be said for the answers that lie in the questions of how the earth expresses her consciousness; for instance, how does a flower open from a bud? How does the butterfly display the intelligence to follow a perfect path of migration without a brain? What consciousness is responsible for these natural occurrences?
Although I am not personally aware of the state of mind called enlightenment, I imagine it may require the ability for the mind to transcend the personal experience enough to reach the vast edges of the cosmos, and to experience all that is possible from the perspective of a small relation in the universal family constellation. And though becoming enlightened isn't a desire for too many humans as they enjoy physically expressing in their bodies, in my own work, I have found that the more people feel connected to something greater than their individual physical selves, the more they enjoy the sensations felt by their bodies. The more grounded I become in my focus upon frequencies outside of my ordinary experience, as I have come to understand and feel into through my own mediation practice, frequencies that feel like love, forgiveness, compassion, connection and the like, the more emphatically my client resonates to pleasure experienced in their bodies. They become so involved in their present moment, and the in enjoyment of the sensations they feel in their bodies (which they also say feel better than usual) that they completely align themselves to a frequency of pure joy. The emotion of pure joy is an indication of alignment with Source energy, also known as enlightenment.
As the emotions of love, forgiveness, compassion and connection bring a person quickly into a resonance that allows a powerful physical pleasure response, the emotion of shame is like a heavy stone on the tether of a parachute, sinking those pleasure responses in the blink of an eye. Almost everyone on the planet is familiar with how fast shame can take you out of the present moment. Shame is an emotion that drags the past into the present to foul up the future. Often shame confuses and distorts so quickly that the mind doesn't have a chance of recognizing the ride it's been through. By the time we've had enough experience with shame, we don't even realize it was shame who delivered the message to create this fog of diffusion. Like a stamp's impression on the same spot over and over again, it becomes indiscernible; but all of a sudden we don't feel as hopeful, as possible, as ready for new discovery, as open to innovation. And our heart shuts down to the experience of pleasure.
Knowing the message our emotions are communicating to us is the key to understanding who we really are in relation to the energetic web that is creation. Our emotions are the compass to discover harmony with Source energy, the master creator. When we feel the positive uplifting feeling of love, we are truly in close synchronicity with the creative energy of Source. And when we feel shame, our inner guidance is letting us know that who we really are doesn't share the same perspective. Shame is a mental condition that focuses fully in the physical perspective and records the responses of others to ourselves and our behaviours, while ignoring the perspective of our more inclusive energetic self, the broad perspective that includes a level of consciousness beyond our consistently focused awareness. Have you ever felt, in the midst of some feeling of angst, the relief of surrender.. the moment when you just let go of whatever bad feeling you are focused on and breathe. And as your body relaxes, and your mind takes the cue from your body that all is well, you feel even for a moment a glimmer of light in your awareness, a possibility that you are not alone. When you sense that you are loved and cared for, and someone has your back even if you don't know who that may be, in that moment you have allowed yourself to be open to the perspective that is beyond your physically focused awareness. You have allowed your whole self to show you, through your feelings, who you really are- an intelligence beyond what is physically known, a spiritual substance recording information from the physical world in order to evolve to a new understanding and to develop into a new way of being in the physical world.
It is an error in judgment to feel that anyone is ever working against you, because they can't.. no one is powerful enough to affect your experience if you aren't allowing them to do so by paying attention to what they are saying about you and your behaviour. Shame is about paying more attention to what the outer world thinks more than your inner knowing of who you are at the core of your being. And if you are saying to yourself that sometimes shame has value, because if people didn't feel shame they would behave in ways that hurt others, let me remind you that those who feel shame the most are the people who inflict the greatest injury to others. People who think well of themselves don't intentionally cause harm, to others or to themselves. Not wanting to feel shame can be a deterrent to bad behaviour, but the only time a person would consider behaving in a way that would harm another is when they are feeling bad themselves.
We all know the part religion has played in shaming sex and sexual expression. But why would sex be targeted as a necessary evil, needing to be controlled and regulated and distorted? The patriarchal focus of the Church does play a role, but I would argue that just as psychedelic and mind-expanding substances are vilified as being more destructive than beneficial, as sexual activity has the potential to elevate the mind to an emotional awareness of the true nature of self as powerful, the temptation to engage in such activity must be regulated. And of course some sexual behaviour is not appropriate, which is true of any behaviour; any behaviour in which the level of engagement is not at the level of the true nature of being, behaviour that is not aligned with the spiritual perspective of self that is pure Love, has potentially harmful effects.
If there is a taint of shame associated with sex, then certainly selling sex for money or purchasing sex with money is shameful. Sex is a privilege, is it not? Sex is earned through a certain amount of amorous devotion (even if this devotion is an behaviour offered to get sex), sex is a reward for showing love, sex is the product of a mutual attraction and therefore unseemly when the mutual attraction is not present. When sex doesn't have any of the above foundations it is not appropriate sex. And if it's inappropriate you should feel shame about it, that is certain.
The distorted public perception of sex work is far from the reality of it. In fact, the many varieties of sex worker could be the greatest range of types within any type of profession. Even the intricacies of style within a particular genre of sex work is completely determined by the individual worker. The way the worker shows up for the client is entirely a product of the interaction between worker and client. This being so, even still the intention the worker has as she or he meets a client will create the container for the entire time they are together. Given all the room for variation within the field of sex work, it is impossible to draw a conclusion from the outside looking in about how the work affects the women who offer it or the reasons for why they do it, or about why men seek the services and what they receive from it. If sex work is seen through this broad of perspective it seems illogical to call it shameful in any way. Yet something about sex work provokes a knee jerk response, an immediate judgment deeming it wrong.
Returning to the spiritual wisdom and guidance available to our human consciousness through the barometer of our emotions, let's consider the value of coming into a mind of harmonious resonance with the emotion of Love. Not love that is attached to any particular object or person, but the pure feeling of Love. If you are able to reach this emotion of Love without focusing on something or someone to love, you've done some spiritual work. Often people who are able to feel the resonance of their spiritual nature can feel the emotional resonance of Love. Some people find this resonance more naturally than others, and in some cases, they feel called to certain professions where they can flow this energy of Love to others in a way that feels useful and satisfying to them. Many of us would be able to recall a moment in our life experience when we received a particular unexpected kindness from a person of a certain helping profession.. a kindness that seemed to go above the normal expectation, and in receiving that act of kindness we might have felt the worthiness of our being, and a sense of unity with life in a way that reflected back to us our personal value. While it may seem odd to consider sex work a calling, from my experience I would definitely say that some people, predominantly women but I'm sure there are some examples of men as well, feel called to offer sex work as a way to flow Love.
Whatever the avenue to communicate loving sexual energy, from stripping to escort, pornography to massage, the intention of the sex worker will always have an effect on the exchange of the interaction. As the truism says, you get back what you put out.. when a sex worker intends to uplift the spiritual energy of another, even through intending to bring joy and happiness to another from a heart of kindness and appreciation for her or his fellow human, the client would be someone looking for an experience to bring happiness and joy. Scientists at HeartMath Institute are mapping the resonance fields of heart frequencies at different points around the globe, and finding synchronicity in heart rhythms in areas of certain population density, as well as other studies of heart resonance to demonstrate the incredible intelligence of the heart in the relationship we have with ourselves and to others. To be able to respond to others and to life from this heart-centered place is proving to be of enormous benefit not only on a personal level but also as we collectively influence one another. To “be the change” requires us to individually be vulnerable, open to loving and to being loved. The only way to stop violence is to stop the cycle of perpetuation of violence, and the only way to do this is to each take our part in it.