My husband took this photo of me one evening after we attended a day of teachings at the Buddhist temple where we met.
For 12 years, I was a sensual massage provider. I started doing sensual massage out of necessity, but I kept doing it because through it I found healing and access to an inner landscape that I had been feeling for all of my life. Sensual massage gave me a context to explore all of the ways I had felt about my ways of interacting with the world around me. (Please check out my blog for the zines I wrote for more about my journey with sensual massage.)
I stopped doing massage in March 2024, seven months after I met my now husband. We met at a Buddhist temple in England, a few months after I turned 50. I was at a point in my life when I thought I had exhausted the possibility of having a successful relationship- now I realize I just hadn’t met the right person.
Not doing sensual massage for a while gave me an opportunity to focus on my spiritual journey, and to explore where my heart was at after so many years of giving sensual massage.
In this world of social media influencers and celebrity status, it is sometimes easy to forget our own inner strength and individual beauty. We all have something important to share. Some of us share it quietly and in the background but this doesn’t make it any less important. Our sensual nature is our doorway in to our personal beauty.
My background-
I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology, and I have studied Family Constellation. During covid I offered tarot readings online and had a lot of positive feedback about my readings with people. I have been seriously studying Buddhism for a little over 6 years, and previous to this, I dabbled in many different esoteric and other spiritual practices.
I bring all of this plus my experience of working with my sensual healing clients to my intimacy coaching. Please see my sessions page for more of what I can offer during my coaching sessions.
My husband took this photo of me. I spent a lot of my life in relationships that felt oppressive. I hid myself from my partners and also from myself. My current husband is different. I am finally in a relationship where I am not hiding any aspect of me, and I feel fully accepted and loved in spite of my flaws.
This pic was snapped of me as I was sitting outside of the temple listening to a Buddhist teaching.
After taking some time away from doing massage, I feel a calling to share what I’ve learned from offering sensual healing to others. The zines I have posted in the blog of this website were written while I was still offering massage, and I wrote them with the intention to share some of what I learned through my experience. I am in the process of creating an online course, but I miss working one on one with people.
One of my paintings
My life experience
I’ve overcome a lot of trauma from my earlier life. When I was a toddler my family had a house fire which was quite devastating. Although all of my family survived the fire, we all still carry scars from the experience.
I’ve healed- and am continuing to heal, co-dependency patterns. In the past I’ve had a tendency to enter into relationships with my heart all the way open and I’ve been hurt a lot as a result. And sometimes this open-hearted tendency has resulted in me hurting others.
One of the relationships that taught me the most in my life was my relationship with my youngest child’s father. He was mentally ill and abusive- mentally, physically and emotionally. Healing from this relationship took some time, but I can now recognize the patterns in myself that kept me in the cycle of abuse.
Forgiveness was how I accepted my accountability in the relationship, without blaming myself for staying. And it is how I healed enough to now be in a relationship that is mutually supportive and interdependent rather than codependent.